November

So it is November and it appears that everyone is excited except for me. It is strange, because now that November is actually here the excitement and anxiety has worn off. We are also going through a really hard time and I think that may be taking away from the anxiousness.

I was expecting November 1 to come and to be on edge everyday. Some days I almost hope that it doesn't happen because I want to enjoy it and I'm not sure I will. I think that I will feel completely differently when it actually happens, but I have been waiting for too long at this point.

There is only so much planning and wishing and hoping that I can do before the excitement is gone and I'm left just waiting. I guess I still have a little excitement because every time he goes anywhere or says anything I try to read in to it. I try and guess what he is doing and what he could really be doing.

I just hope that at this point I am not disappointed and let down because I have been waiting for so long.

Work

I have dedicated myself to work for the past two years. Whenever someone asks me what I have been doing or what I keep busy with, the answer is ALWAYS work. I spend my vacation, my free time, my holidays working. I am always tired and do not get enough time with myself or my boyfriend. I am not saying this to complain, and I do not normally complain about work. But the time has come where if I do not take responsibility for the work that I have done and the time that I have put in to this job, that I will be royally screwed.

There are micro-managers and there are managers who do not give up work. The managers who I can not stand are the ones who give you the work and then take all of the responsibility! I am a very hard worker, and I pride myself on the excellent work I do. I dedicate my life to work, and if I didn't pride myself on my work then I would be wasting my life away.

The economy is really tough right now and it is effecting everyone. I am very grateful to have a job and to have a job at a great company. I really do love the company I work for and the people here. It is extremely difficult when you get to a point in your career when you should be advancing and you love a company so much that you don't want to leave. The question is what do you do? Do I stick it out and move up when possible, or do I actively look? Don't get me wrong...I am extremely grateful for the position I have and the compensation that comes along with it. I am pretty well off in the business world.

I am not sure what next steps are....