Working

My friends have always looked at me as the feminist, self-starter who enjoys working and being successful. It's not that I no longer enjoy being successful, I just don't like what it takes to get there. I never thought I would say this, but now I understand why women just want to stay home.

I have done what I never thought I would do. I have taken a job because it is easy and more money. I recently received a promotion, but in another department. The money is really good, but the job is boring. I have taken this job in order to be able to be a good wife and mother in the future. I feel that in my current job I am too stressed and irritated to be enjoyable at home. I am no longer enjoying life.

I worry that now I will be judged for not being as successful as I thought I would be. I still have the opportunity to come back to my dream job and be extremely successful in the future, but for now I will worry about being successful in motherhood and as a wife.

I have so many opportunities afforded to me and I want to be able to take advantage of them, but now is not the time for that. Now is the time to start being an amazing wife and think about being the best mom I can be.

I hope that my choices in life are looked at as wise and responsible and that I am still known to my friends, family and peers as a successful woman.

Married Life

I have been married for 3 weeks and 3 days and it has been amazing. I have the best life and the best husband. It is not all fun and wonderful days all the time, but the experience of being married and knowing that someone is always there for me is like nothing I have never known.

I worry that I am not as good of a wife and person as my husband is. He treats me so well and really only gets mad when I do something to piss him off. But when he does get mad....look out! There is no stopping him. That is the only thing that I would change and hopes that he changes.

I get so mad so often and because he is my husband, he gets the brunt of it. That's not fair. I am truly working on becoming a better person and it is very difficult. Every time I say something and do something, I think before I say it. That doesn't necessarily mean that I listen to my thoughts, but I certainly do think about it. It's very different to know what the right thing is and to follow that.

I really want to be a better person and I always say taht I am going to work my hardest at that, and I really, truly do work on that. I work on it day and night. I guess I'm not very good at it though.

My husband is the most important thing to me in the world. I can deal with anything or anyone else as long as I have my husband. I hope it's always that way.